My daughter Annie has been playing lacrosse for about 5 years. We just got back from a tournament in Myrtle Beach.
Something interesting happened at that tournament.
Two seasons ago, Annie was widely considered one of the best players on her team. This isn’t just a proud parent talking,. Coaches from competing teams were seeking her out to tell her how well she played. She was an aggressive player with a hard shot, and you could tell she loved being out there.
This summer, she had to try out with a coach who’d never seen her play. Because of her sheer physical size (Annie is big for her age) the coach put her on defense. She’s been there all summer. I found myself watching a different kid playing. She seemed lackadaisical, not paying attention to the game – just not into it. It got to the point where I asked if she was just sick of playing lacrosse. She insisted that she still loved the game. Something still didn’t seem right. She mentioned not enjoying defense, and said she had mentioned it to her coach, but it didn’t seem to be the predominant issue.
We got to the tournament. Nothing had changed. She just didn’t seem into it. Suzanne and I discussed whether I should talk to Annie’s mom about not playing anymore. The results weren’t good, either. Annie’s team lost all the qualifiers, so the next day was a consolation game against another losing team.
Then something interesting occurred. One of Annie’s prior coaches was pressed into service for the final game. He looked at Annie and said “You can do more for this team on attack.” He put her in that position for the game.
It was like having the old Annie back. She tore it up, scoring three goals and an assist. Her team won by 8 points. They were so dominant the coach told Annie to stop shooting for the last few minutes of the 2nd half, and that “If I’d known you could shoot that well I’d have put you on attack sooner!” We had three different sets of parents approach us to tell us how well she had played.
Lessons learned:
Listen to your people.
When someone for whom you are responsible is trying to tell you something, listen. This team may have had a much more successful tournament, and maybe season, if the right people had been in the right positions.
You’re not going to be effective at a job you don’t love.
I’m one of the first people to poo-poo “Do what you love.” It’s one of those clichés that make sense on the surface, but are a great recipe for failure. I’d certainly say that the obverse is true: Don’t do what you hate. You’re not going to be good at it even if you like the surroundings.
Take advantage of the chances you’re given.
Annie told me when the game was over “I knew I had one chance to show coach I belong on attack.” She made the best of that opportunity. When you’re handed those opportunities, be ready to make the best of them.