A quick recommendation for those of you going through this experience, or really any medical experience in which you end up with a port in your chest.
First, find a topical painkiller to put on about 30 minutes before having your port accessed. Lidocaine, benzocaine, whatever. You’ll thank me later.
When looking for nurses to access your port, find the biggest, toughest-looking nurse you can find. Ask for him or her by name when going in for lab work, treatment, or any other time they need to access your port. Why? Because the big strong ones just shove that thing in there quickly, and that’s what you want. Forget about these frail, dainty, tiny little nurses – you want the biggest bruiser you can get. My current favorite is a big dude named Tim who got that big honkin’ needle into me so fast it would make your head spin, and I barely felt a thing.
Removal is the reverse of access. Find a nurse that will get hold of that thing and yank it out posthaste. I had an older nurse do that for me today after I had my labs done, and it was like she never did it. None of this “easing it out” crap. Have her (or him) grab hold, count to three, and get that thing out of there.
Why do I mention this? Because the nurse who accessed my port today is a trainee. She’s done a couple other minor procedures on me before without a problem, so I figured I’d give her a shot at accessing my port. Well, she’s a tiny little woman, and she tried to carefully ease that thing in there, and while it wasn’t excruciating, it wasn’t the most comfortable it’s been yet, either.